Life As of Now.....

So, whats new with me? Well, for starters I have gotten really good at neglecting my blog. I plan to rectify that, and spend more time updating my blog. I really enjoy blogging, so I'm not sure why I don't do it more often.

Right now I am enjoying a break from school and find myself getting bored. It only takes me one day to clean the house really good, then the rest of the week I pick-up in the morning and I am bored for the rest of the afternoon. I need to find a hobby or something! I bought the supplies to make a knot blanket for a friend who is having a baby in March. I haven't started it yet, because I'm nervous! I just don't want to mess it up. I need my Mom to help me get started, then I will be OK to do it on my own. Other than that, nothing new is going on.

My weight loss is progressing and I feel better than ever. I am trying to get on an exercise routine, but I've been lazy. It's too cold to go to the park and walk, which is what I really love to do. I have a Wii Fit, but exercising in the house isn't any fun, so I put it off every chance I get. After school starts next week, I plan to get into a routine and then start exercising.

That's all for now.
-BB

The Life of the Unemployed...

The end of the semester came up quickly, I am very grateful for that. I am finished, except for 1 exam next Thursday. I am enjoying a little break until then. Yesterday and today I busied myself with laundry, dishes and baking. This morning I had some errands to run, and floors to wash. Of course, I enjoy some down time now and then.

TiVo is amazing! I love the Real Housewives of Orange County, and Jersey Shore. Let's be serious though, who takes their daughters who can barely walk and talk to get manicures and pedicures? Crazy! These people have too much money!

I'm ready for Christmas. Our house is decorated, and all the gifts are purchased and wrapped. I'm planning to try some new recipes, which is exciting. I actually have time to try recipes, because I am home to make them!

That's about all that's been going on.

Catching A Break

I have several assignments due in the next 2 weeks, this has driven me into full on planning mode. I have had my highlighters and my planner out, and I decided that I need to take a day off to get some things done....tomorrow is that day.

I have a chapter book to read for my Children's Literature class, I plan to start it tonight and finish it tomorrow. Next, I have to write a 3-5 page paper comparing a character in the chapter book to a character in a fairy tale. So, after I read the book I will begin working on constructing my thesis statement. I love writing that interests me, this doesn't really interest me - so I'm dreading it. However, my professor is willing to read our rough draft and comment before the actual paper is due, which I am thankful for. Ideally, I would write the paper over the weekend, and e-mail it to her on Monday, but we all know that isn't going to happen. I tend to procrastinate on the weekend, especially when there is a paper to be written! I have 2 weeks to get the rough draft to her, so I'm going to take my time and make sure I have something really good before I submit it for review.

I have other small things like documents to create, and journal entries to write - but they are easy compared to this reading and paper writing. I hope to spend my day tomorrow being productive, not lazy. I really need to take advantage of the quiet house!

It's my Friday!
-BB

Happy and Hectic!

My days have consisted of working, class, homework, and potty breaks. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I have wanted a Boston Terrier puppy for quite a while, and I finally broke down and bought one last weekend. He is so loving, and adorable!

Last night I went to the Taylor Swift concert, and Dozer had to go to my brothers because we were going to be gone to long to leave him in his pen. He was good, but I missed him while I was gone!! I couldn't wait to get home to see the little guy.

Today I'm being lazy, and he's doing a fabulous job as well. I've folded 3 loads of wash, and I have one in now. I'm watching Carolina and blogging while he's laying next to the chair in his doggy bed sleeping. He's such a sleeper, we are on hour 3 of his nap right now!

Sometime this afternoon I'm going to go do a little grocery shopping, and visit some friends. I'm off tomorrow for the holiday, thank goodness! I have some homework to do.....I have to stop procrastinating!

I hope everyone has a wonderful Labor Day holiday.
-BB

So far....

The beginning of the semester has been hectic and fun. I have 4 very good, energetic professors who seem passionate about the respective subjects they are teaching.

This is a good thing! Professors who lack excitement about the material can make me fall asleep in a minute. However, professors who teach without referring to the book or notes are amazing educators.

I have definitely hit the jackpot this semester, and I am excited about my luck!

I also have to tell you how proud I am of myself. I have managed to stay organized and keep my nerves under control. Generally, at the beginning of the semester I am worried about everything, which makes me about unfit to be around. This semester was different. I planned my day in advance, and made sure I had everything prepared and sitting on the counter the night before. Preparing the night before made mornings much easier. I also managed to get up 10 minutes earlier everyday, and get to work about 20-30 minutes early everyday.

This week was a success, and I am happy about that! I have to work tomorrow, but I don't have any classes, and I get to go to lunch with the girls for the first time this week...I need some girl talk!
-BB

Water ski? Oh my!

This weekend is going to be busy and fun. Friends of my brother and I are coming to visit. They should be arriving about the time we get home from work. We don't have any definite plans tonight, that I know of - but I'm sure we will do something.

Tomorrow we are planning on spending the day on the lake, trying to water ski. I haven't tried in years, knee boarding was more my thing. We'll see how that goes. I'll probably be agonizing about the pain I am in on Monday!!

I'm also going through 'SIW', a.k.a. Sever Ikea Withdraw. I absolutely love Ikea, but I haven't been there in a couple of months. I intend to rectify this situation this weekend. I could buy that store out....if I had the money. It's cheap though, so I could buy a lot of it! Ha ha.

I'm just glad it is Friday and I have 2 days to relax and enjoy my life.
-BB

Meow

This little girl showed up last weekend, and she's still hanging out.....
I can't keep her, because my dog thinks she's a snack. I have to bring her in to let him out. It's really just a zoo around my house right now. I have been feeding her, and we gave her a flea bath the other night. So, she smells good and is well nourished for her new owner. Hum...not I just have to find her a suitable home!

Weigh in was great on Monday night, I was down 1.8 more pounds - for a grand total of 36.6 pounds lost so far!!

Tomorrow is Friday!!
-BB

A Rut....

I have been in a bit of a mood all weekend. I guess I am just feeling sorry for myself, and it's really all for no good reason. I'm young, able bodied, and outgoing. However, I'm not really into going out to bars or clubs and staying up all hours of the night. I'm not a drinker, only on special occasions. I prefer low key gatherings with a few friends, not crowded noisy parties.

I think I'm too finicky. I need to be more outgoing, to reach far inside and pull out my inner extrovert and conquer my fear of talking to a stranger.

I mean seriously! I need to get out of the 'circle' of people I know, and meet someone who doesn't live town. Who knows? Maybe I will meet someone that intrigues me, and can keep my interest. What an idea!?!

The problem is, I don't know where to begin? I'm terrified of going out by myself, I think there is safety in numbers, plus having a friend with is always a good confidence booster.

I have to admit, my biggest fear is growing old alone. I want to be married with children one day.

Any ideas? Advice?

-BB

What a week, it's a blur....

Monday was a horrible day, I'm just going to be honest.

I had the hardest time making it though the day with a slight headache and an urgent need to sleep. I barely kept my eyes open until 5 pm, then Mom and I went to Weight Watchers.

The best part was that I was down 1.2 more pounds, for a total of 29.4 pounds. I am now able to fit into some jeans that I absolutely love, and it's very obvious that I have lost a good amount of weight.

Friday we went to Sam's Club and bought lots of fruit and bagged it in individual 1 cup servings. Yum! It makes the best snack ever. We bought Cantaloupe, Honeydew, Watermelon and Strawberries. If you're watching what you eat and trying to loose weight, I recommend having fresh fruits and vegetables prepared and ready to eat, otherwise you may be tempted to eat something fattening, that's quicker to prepare.

I absolutely could not pry myself out of bed yesterday, I still had an intense headache. Then, there was the lack of sleep from having such a headache, so to top it all off I was sick to my stomach. I called in and slept until 10 am. Then it was time to get up and go to the chiropractor for an adjustment, which finally alleviated my neck/headache pain. He didn't seem too surprised that I was in a pain, and he was able to pinpoint exactly where the pain was the most intense. It gave me hope that he will be able to help me, and one day I may not have to pop Excedrin like it's candy. I hate taking medicine, I know how bad it is for my liver, not to mention I have a very hard time swallowing pills. After the doctor, I came home and laid on the couch all afternoon with ice on my neck. It was nice to relax, just me and the dog.

I'm back at work again today, getting a lot done too. I feel much better, I'm still very tired - I don't think I'll ever get enough sleep.
-BB

The weekend totally flew by. There just isn't enough time in 2 days to do everything that needs to be done. However, I did find time to play, even though I have a final exam on Tuesday that I should be studying for, and a very hectic 6 days coming up.

This weekend I....volunteered to be the official photographer at the local 5k event and got up at 6 am to carry out my duties. I spent my entire morning standing in the sun taking pictures of people running, then rushed home and published aforementioned pictures on the website. I made a mandatory trip to get the oil changed in my car, and took a leisurely stroll around the mall shopping and sipping a Starbucks drink, I warn you - shaken iced tea lemonade (black tea, unsweetened) - is addictive! I spent Saturday evening making a Coconut Cream Pie using a Cool Whip recipe, which I substituted mostly sugar-free, and fat-free ingredients (except for the coconut) to make it Weight Watchers friendly! Yum! I ate it while watching the movie Fireproof, which was fabulous and made me shed quite a few tears. Sunday was all about relaxing in the morning, and then a mid-afternoon lake trip which caused the burning of my forehead, which just adds a little color to my face....right? I rushed home after the lake to shower and go do a radio interview to promote our local 4th of July event, which I am helping organize. I left the radio station and rushed to Wal-Mart to buy groceries to pack my dinner all week, yes you read that right, not lunch....but dinner. I went home to get ready for work today, and lay on the couch...but nope. I had telephone calls coming in, things I was requested to do, and to top it all off - something I ate made me very sick and had me running back and forth to the bathroom most of the night. Yuck! TMI - I know.

Today is the only "down time" I'm going to get this week, and I'm at work. I have to leave here early for a doctor's appointment. Then it's hope to ignore the phone, take a bubble bath and watch TiVo'ed shows. Tomorrow I'm working 1/2 a day, going to watch a friend defend her dissertation (Congratulations M!), and taking my final at 3:30. Then rushing home to work the 4th of July event from 5 - midnight. Then Wednesday, I'm getting up early, coming to work for 1/2 a day, going to another doctor's appointment, and rushing home again to work the 4th of July event from 5 - midnight. I'm off Thursday through Sunday, but I'm going to be working the 4th of July event every night, and all day Saturday, from 6 am to after midnight. On Sunday, I might just sleep all day to catch up on my sleep.

So....if you don't hear from me for a day or 2...it's ok. I'm alive and busy as ever!
-BB

Ouchie.....

My doctors appointment on Thursday went well. They took x-rays at all different angles and determined that I have some alignment issues. I am going to see a cervical spine specialist today, hopefully they will be able to help me find some relief. While I was at the neurologist, they went ahead and did a steroid injection into my neck muscles. It was 3 different sticks of a VERY large needle. Ouch!!! It was painful, but I had relief all weekend, until this morning. I'm glad I'm going to the specialist this afternoon! In 4 weeks I go back to the neurologist for a check-up, and if I haven't gotten relief, we are going to explore other avenues, including doing an MRI. I really liked the neurologist, he seemed genuinely concerned and ready to do whatever was necessary to make me feel better, and better yet - he didn't just hand me a prescription and send me home...he ordered imaging, and referred me to a specialist! This has been going on for 4 years, and I finally think there might be a light at end of the tunnel!

I have to tell you again how amazing Keith Urban is. If you like country music, you absolutely must go to one of his concerts. If you don't - you are definitely missing out.

My summer class is over this Thursday, and my exam is next Tuesday. Can you say excitement?!?!? I have 2 big assignments due on Thursday, one is 3/4 of the way finished, and I haven't even started the other one - I'm such a procrastinator. It will all get done in time though, I am sure of it.

Mom and I weighed in last night because my class got out early. I lost 1.6 pounds for a total of 26.2 pounds. I was so excited to hit 25 pounds, I nearly cried. It is exciting to hit a milestone. My next "goal" is to loose 10 more pounds, and go from there. It seems like setting small goals helps me stay focused on the prize...which is - wearing at least a size 10, or smaller. I'd love for it to be smaller.

That's all for today, nothing too exciting - just a quick update.
-BB

News.....

I have to tell you all something, but first - I want you to promise me you will not get jealous! Oh goodness, who the heck am I kidding!?!? Be jealous!

I'm going to see Keith Urban tonight!!!!

I am so excited, it might be hard for me to concentrate today! I've had the tickets for months, and today just seemed to creep up on me. As I was leaving the house this morning I checked to be sure I had the tickets, and I pulled out of the driveway. Then, I realized I didn't have my camera. Of course, I risked being late to work to turn around a get my camera, because I must have photographic evidence of this gorgeous man singing before my very eyes. Lots of pictures to come, I assure you!

On another note, I have my doctors appointment this morning. I have to leave work at 9:45 and drive about 30 miles. I'm really not looking forward to it. My Mom is going to go with me to make sure I talk to the doctor about all my concerns. The basic point of this appointment is to hopefully get an MRI done on my head, because I have very painful headaches. The issue is that I've had them for 4 years, and nobody has taken an MRI. They all just fill me with medicine that could eventually damage my liver, and tell me to stretch my neck more. I want them to take a picture of my head and rule out any... ahem...tumors. I fear the idea of having a tumor.

Mom and I both took a vacation day tomorrow to recover from the concert. It's going to be nice to have a day home with her, and just relax and hang out.

I'm skipping class tonight to go to Keith Urban, and I don't care. Keith is soooo worth missing class for!

Until tomorrow....
-BB

I've got a list

I am going to be a terrible blogger today and do a bullet post.

Here's my quick recap.....

• I got burnt at the pool. Yes, I wore sunscreen. Apparently not enough, and now I am paying for it. I'm miserable and it hurts to wear a very important undergarment - a brassiere. TMI - I know. But the good news is, I'm wearing one!

• My Mom is amazing! She washed and waxed my car on Saturday while I sat in a lawn chair and watched her because I was feeling so yucky. I think I ate something that didn't agree with me.
  

• I have to do a clinical assignment today, so I'm leaving work early to go to Math Camp! Y'ay!!

• I read a really good book by Debbie Macomber, it's called "Shops on Blossom Street". Great book!

• I've got a medical issue to take care of on Thursday, noting gross. I'll spare you the details until I know more, no need to panic right now.

• I've decided to give up on First Thing Friday. It's not really catching on and it's become work, instead of fun. I want fun!!!

• It's a 4 day week for me! Off on Friday!!!

That's all for now. More work to do.....
-BB

I Love a Good Compliment!

I'm alive. I'm here. I'm still busy, but I'll quit complaining about that.

I got an awesome compliment from my professor last night. We had a report due this past Monday, and I was quite embarrassed when I turned it in because everybody else scribbled something on notebook paper and turned it in. Then, there is me....I typed a cover page, made copies of my supporting documentation, and typed all my answers. I even had it neatly arranged and stapled together.

Last night when she was passing them back, she asked me if she could keep mine when I was done looking over for it. She said she wanted to use it as an example of what she is looking for in the future! Compliment....woo hooo! Of course, I let her keep it - need to take credit for being amazing every once in awhile, right?

Moving on....I am making big plans for the weekend. They include:
- Going to bed by 9 pm on Friday
- Sleeping until 10 am on Saturday
- Homework a majority of the day Saturday
- Afternoon nap on Saturday
- Going to bed by 9 pm on Saturday
- Sleeping until 10 am on Sunday
- Homework for a couple hours on Sunday
- Nap on Sunday afternoon
- Going to bed by 8 pm on Sunday

Notice the pattern? I'm going to sleep as much as I possibly can. I need to. I feel deprived from sleeping, my bed misses me, I absolutely, positively need to sleep for at least 8 solid hours 2 days in a row. I have to, or I'm going to go crazy. Unless, I already am. I don't think I'm there yet, but I will be sooner rather than later if I don't get some sleep.

Back to work, then class - and rushing home for my lovely Thursday evening meeting.
-BB

Buried

That's right, I am buried under piles of stuff. Stuff to do, stuff to see, stuff to make, stuff.... lots of stuff.

On top of being crazy, insane busy, it is also crazy insane hot here, see Exhibit A:
The reason I am so busy, is entirely my own fault. You see, I decided that I would take a 4 week summer class that meets every evening Monday through Thursday. I did not expect the instructor to cram an entire semester into 4 weeks, but she did. I'm doing the work and neglecting other things - like my blog.

Then of course, I have volunteer work that I do. We have a big event coming up next month, and I am doing a lot of the pre-planning. Naturally because the event is in 4 weeks, I've got a lot of loose ends to tie up and meetings to attend every Thursday night after class. When I have a meeting after class, I have to literally run from my class, to the parking deck and drive exactly the speed limit all the way home to get there on time (I don't speed, it's dangerous).

Then, there is life in general. You know - showers, sleep, food, and socializing with friends and family. I have to actually plan my evening so I can get a shower and get in bed before 11. I have planned to work on homework every single Saturday this month until the class is finished, and on Tuesday nights - I plan to lay around in my pajamas and do NOTHING. Yup, I have to plan stuff like being lazy and showering. That's how busy I am. Pathetic - I know.

I got fed up with being busy last night and rebelled. I went to visit EBF's Mom, who is like my second Mom. Her sister is in town visiting and I just adore them. They are so laid back, unscripted, and a breath of fresh air. Sitting on their porch in the wicker furniture with a glass of tea eating Amish Friendship bread was the best hour of my week so far. They really helped me relax. I didn't tell them I was feeling overwhelmed, or even talk about my life. We just talked about shopping, dogs, shoes, and other random stuff. We relaxed and enjoyed each others company. It was nice! I need to make time to do stuff like that more often.

They are night owls and could sit up all night and talk - the even mentioned staying up to watch reruns on TV Land. But, I had to go, it was 10:30 and I had to get up early this morning for work. My brain wouldn't shut down so I stared at the ceiling in my bedroom until 3 am, then I got up at 6. Now I'm sitting here trying to stay awake with black rings under my eyes.

The good news is that I'm wearing an outfit today that I haven't been able to wear in quite a while. I'm officially down 1.8 more pounds for a total of 19.2. I can't wait until Friday to see if I hit the 20 pound mark!

No FTF this week, too much going on.

-BB

Quality Friends

Do you have any idea how hard it is to find quality friends? Hard! I do not think I am hard to get along with, but one thing I must have in a friendship is honesty. If you cannot be honest with me and you decide to discuss my personal life behind my back, you are not a friend. You are a traitor.

I have a "friend", and I use that term loosely, who is roughly 21 years older than me. So, yes- she is old enough to be my Mom. I get along with her well, and we are involved in a lot of the same activities. Except, she constantly talks about other people behind their back, tells small lies, and exaggerates things.

I started noticing her talking about people behind their back as soon as we became friends, and it was a definite red flag. You know the saying "They'll talk about other people to you, then they'll talk about you to other people." I don't have a lot of 'skeletons' in my closet, and I am careful not to tell her things that I don't want other people to know. I thought I had that potential problem taken care of. Then comes the lying.

She got mad at me over money. She was working a charitable event with me, and her money came up short at the end of the day. When we were discussing it, she made it very clear that she was not going to take the blame. I asked her how she wanted me to handle it when it came time to turn in into the treasurer. Being a friend, I didn't want to tell them that is was her mistake, etc. I wanted her permission to turn it in, since it was my responsibility. If it were me, I would just put the money in, it was a minimal amount. I'd rather turn it in even, then try to figure out what happened to a couple of dollars.

She got mad at me, but instead of telling me, she tried to "uninvite" me to an event at her home. I got sick and didn't come anyway - she was perturbed because I didn't have a reaction to being "unnvited". You see, she invited me, but when I called her to tell her I wasn't coming, she wouldn't answer her phone or text me back. I felt like a bad friend, but I made an effort to let her know I wasn't coming.

She made a huge deal out of it. She even invited friends of mine that barely know her. They were thoroughly confused as to why I wasn't at the event, but they were invited. Of course, when they called me - I told them I was sick and I tried contacting her. When they told her I was sick, she said "Well, she was invited".

The invitation went like this; "We're having a cookout this weekend, you can come if you want to." No time, no date, just "this weekend" and "you can come if you want to". I sensed some animosity in the whole conversation, but I choose to ignore it thinking maturity would prevail.

When I called, I think she thought I was calling for a time or date, but I was really calling to tell her that I appreciated the invite, but I wouldn't be able to make it because I was ill. The cards didn't fall her way, and she was mad.

Of course - I wasn't privy to her scheme until after it all unfolded and I was left standing with my mouth hanging open wondering what the heck just happened. But the point is - she was inconsiderate of my feelings, I have friends at the event who said she was rude when speaking of me, and made some pretty off hand comments.

I sent her an e-mail explaining that I was frustrated with the situation and how she was choosing to handle it, especially because in my opinion, it was over a few dollars. I sent her the e-mail yesterday afternoon, and late last night she choose to respond. She sent me an e-mail that was so off the wall and had statements about other friends in it, that was unrelated to the argument to begin with.

In all - I learned a valuable lesson. That is, pick your friends with a clear mind, and your battles too. Make sure your friends are a positive reflection on your person, and they bring out the absolute best in you. Your self image and your public image are important to your character and trust, and only you can protect it. Don't let someone who has baggage of their own, push their issues off on you - it's not your fault.

She has it in her to be a nice person, but for some reason - she chooses to act irrational and say irrelevant things. I am a nice person, and I choose to ignore the animosity and move on with my life. I have a great friend in God and my family, I don't need drama and lies in my life.

Time Management

The older I get, the worse I am at properly managing my time. There never seems to be enough time in the day to fit that nap in that I crave - when I was in High School, I always had time for a nap when I got home. Now, I run in the door at 6 pm or later, and I'm ready for bed by 8 - but force myself to stay up until 10 so I can get some stuff done around the house, and feel like a contributing member of the household. I know I'm not the only one in the house who feels like that - but darn! I wish I had more time to just relax!

I was planning to go for a walk tonight, and burn off some excess calories, but I have a meeting after work that begins at 7:30. It's my own fault, yet another one of my "extracurricular" activities. Now, I have to rush home, eat dinner, change clothes, and go to my meeting. Then, the meeting won't be over until 9 or 9:30 - I will have to rush home, get a shower, prepare for tomorrow and hopefully get into bed by Midnight. I just hope I have enough time. I cannot procrastinate between now and 7:30. I must leave work promptly at 5, hope and pray that some impatient driver hasn't caused yet another accident during my 40 mile commute, and prepare dinner, eat and clean up all before 7. Then change clothes, and relax for 10 minutes before running out the door! Whew. I am winded just thinking about it.

Good news? I lost 0.8 pounds last week. I was elated to have lost because I have been loosing at least a pound every week - so I figured it is bound to catch up with me, and one of these weeks I'm going to stay exactly the same in my weight. The even better news is, that I am wearing one of my smaller sized skirts today and a lady who works in my building, but not with me, commented that she thought I looked different. I proudly told her that I had been watching what I'm eating and trying to shed some weight for summer. It was nice to be recognized!

I'm off to work my butt off until 5, then home to run around like a chicken with my head cut off!
-BB

Reminiscing

Sometimes, when I get bored I read old posts. You see, I have been blogging since 2006, just not on this blog. My other blogs weren't very private, so I decided to start this one and keep it completely private and not reveal my identity, so I don't have to blog in fear.

For me, blogging is like writing in an online diary, except you get feedback from great blogging friends, and advice from people who don't judge you based on the way you look or the house you live in. Get it? I love blogging.

Anyway, reading old posts made me feel good about myself. I could see myself then, and where I am now - and I truly believe I have accomplished a lot. Including getting EBF out of my life, and on to another poor unsuspecting victim.

Speaking of accomplishing a lot....I am moving along on my never ending list. I need to get a lot accomplished at work today since I am only working 4 days this week. I got one of my final grades this morning, it was an A! I take my last final on Thursday, and I'm hoping to get my final grade by Monday morning.

On the Weight Watchers end of things, according to the scale last night I am down another 3.6 pounds, for a total of 15 pounds.

I don't notice it as much as I would like to, I am one of those people who always want more, but in reality - I'm not going to fit into a size 6 overnight. However, my jeans are fitting a lot looser, and people are commenting on how you can really see that I've lost weight mainly in my face. Apparently I had a fat face, which is now disappearing. Hum..I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not. Ha ha.

I'm off to get more done at work, then lunch with a group of friends who I haven't seen in almost a year! :)
-BB

Living Happy

Lately I have had the unfortunate opportunity of being around negative people.

I have been contemplating writing this post for quite some time, then today in class I decided it was time.

A girl walked in a few minutes late and sat down. She is a very sweet girl, and she obviously is trying very hard to work her way though college. Most days she isn't put together, but she is clean and she smells good, so that counts - right? Today when she walked in, a group of girls in the corner sitting by me started giggling like teenagers and pointing at her outfit. It hurt my feelings for her, because it was rude, and very childish for a college student.

Note: Names have been changed to protect their dignity - what is left of it. :-)

In my opinion these negative people are defined as:

• the people who gossip about someone they have never had the pleasure of meeting or even holding a conversation with
  


• the people who knowingly start drama, or just do not think before speaking


• the crazy fast driver who cuts you off in traffic and nearly causes you to wreck


• the people who live in their own fantasy world and thinks their life is perfect....way more perfect than yours can ever be - and they let you know it!

I am friends with a great many of the persons listed above and I would love to share with you some real life examples of just what I am talking about.

The Gossip Queen
I have a friend who is this, she will tell you she isn't, but after 20 minutes around her - you know she's lying. I love her to death, but her constant gossip drives me insane.

Every time, every single time she calls me the conversation starts like this "Oh my God! You are not gonna believe this!!" (Can you hear it in her voice? Yeah?)

Then, she goes on about Tammy's sister's ex-boyfriends family who are "nasty people" and they are so mean to Tammy's sister. Guess what? I don't know who Tammy is, let alone her sister or the ex-boyfriends family - so why do I care? Please, remind me because I seem to be missing the point!

My favorite is "I heard that Tom and Maria were getting divorced". Oh really? Because Tom works with my Dad and he hasn't mentioned it. In fact, just last week Maria was telling my Mom that they were thinking about renewing their wedding vows for their 25th wedding anniversary. Then she says "Oh, well that's just what I heard".

She will never tell you who she heard it from.

Drama Starter / Insert Foot In Mouth
The people who start drama do it intentionally. We have all met them, they are the people who say snippy things in an attempt to get you to say something they can use against you later, or the people who make a big deal out of nothing. I encounter both types almost daily, and I've gotten pretty good at ignoring them.

The people who do not think before they speak are just idiots. Didn't their Mom tell them when they were little that they needed to "choose their words wisely"? My Mom did, maybe she should give lessons or something.

I encounter this all to often. A certain co-worker of mine is infamous for it. A lot of what we do deals with confidential personal information, but she talks about it to other women in the office. Then one of those women, usually one of those Drama Starters, will go tell the boss and "Little Miss. Innocent" (AKA I don't think before I speak) gets reprimanded and pissed off at everyone in the office.

I just stay in my little office and act like they're all crazy (because they are). I want to say "Just do your job and go home. Don't bring home to work or work home, it's a waste of time!"

Reckless Driver
People who have no regard for my safety or their own safety infuriate me. I am one of those people who drive ahead of myself, so if I see a tractor trailer 1/4 mile ahead I put my blinker on and get over. I don't jam on the gas and pass as many cars as I can then throw my car, without a blinker, in front of one of the cars I passed, just so I can avoid hitting the tractor trailer I knew about before I ever decided to pass. Get it? And if you're one of those people, don't tell me - because I won't like you and I want to like you all!

Perfect Fantasy
These people make me laugh. I have to assume they only act the way they do because they are trying to compensate for something else. Like, maybe they tell you how perfect their children are all the time because really their not.

I have a perfect example: My Mom works with a lady who she is also good friends with. Cindy has 2 daughters, Amanda and Patty. Amanda is 20, but her MySpace page says she is 23, and on it she boasts about getting into bars with her 'awesome fake id', she also posts status updates related to the use of illegal drugs. Then there is Patty, who is actually 23, and dated the same loser without a job for a couple of years. Then she decides that she's tired of him and gets a new boyfriend, and moves back in with Mommy and Daddy. After moving home and dating several different men, she discovers that she is pregnant. Oops! It ends up being the losers kid.

How do I know all this about Cindy's children? Because Cindy is friends with my Mom outside of work and she tells her, plus I do a little MySpace searching (stalking is such a terrible term).

When we go to lunch with a bunch of women from work, you would swear Cindy raised saints. She talks about her 'girls' and their lives, and how they like to attend church (they don't), and how they like to all do things together (never).

Get it? Cindy wants these people to think she raised great kids, because she knows she didn't and she feels guilty for it. She has told my Mom that, yet she finds the need to lie to people about them. I can't stand it. I avoid the situation totally.

Here is my point about all these people: They do not seem to realize how short life is, or that life should not be taken for granted. We should savor the times we have with our family and friends, and be grateful for all of our opportunities.

Just my opinion though. What do you think?
-BB

Relationships

Before I begin this post, I should tell you that I mulled over writing it because I do want to maintain my anonymity. I have to, otherwise I would not feel comfortable writing. I decided to write it because I really want my readers to have a 'clear' picture of who I am and the struggles in my life, specifically with my ex-boyfriend who never seems to go away.

I warn you, this is a long post. I may never talk about him after today, but I just needed to get it out there.

I have an ex-boyfriend, to be referred to as EBF from now on. We dated all through high school without a single argument. Seriously, he was the closest thing to a perfect boyfriend I have ever had. He was 1 year ahead of me, he treated me like a princess,and he respected me. I adored him and his family, especially his Mom. Over the years we dated, I became very close to his family, and he became very close to mine. When he graduated he was supposed to go on to a technical college and settle into a career. We never really discussed marriage and the future in depth, but it was just sort of assumed that we would be together.

The summer after he graduated he decided that a job and college weren't really for him. He quit college before he even started, then he quit his job. For 2 months he sat at home and did nothing. His parents were understanding that he suddenly had this epiphany and didn't know what he wanted to do with his life. It was almost like turning 18 had been a wake up call, he had this new found freedom of choice, and he was going to exercise it.

He became withdrawn from me. We started arguing a lot, then he started lying about what he was doing and who he was with. It was small, idiotic lies, like when he had to work, or if he was going to call or not. He wasn't cheating, he just didn't seem to think it mattered whether I knew where he was or what he was doing.

When we would get in an argument he would always be the first one to apologize and work to make it up to me by doing something sweet. One time, we got in an argument over a misunderstanding. We had been having a rough week and I told him that I thought we needed to spend some time apart, not break up, but spend some time with friends and clear our head. He took it to mean that very night, even though we already had plans. When he didn't show up to pick me up for our plans, I was livid. I called him and let his voicemail have it. The next morning he showed up at my house bright and early, crawled into bed with me and told me how much he loved me and that he hated fighting with me. We spent the whole day together and it was a real bonding session for us. Things seemed to be perfect again.

It wasn't long though, and I caught him in a lie again. He told me he was hanging out with a friend and they were going to go fishing. I went to town to run some errands and the friends truck sat at the movie theater. Being the crazy spastic girlfriend that I admittedly was, I waited until the movie let out and observed him walking across the parking lot with the friend and another female (the friends much younger sister, like 16). I knew there wasn't any worry - she was jail bait for goodness sakes, but why lie? Why didn't he just say, I'm going to the movies with B and his sister, I will call you later tonight? I wouldn't have cared, I just wanted the truth. I didn't even go looking for him to prove he was lying, we just happen to live in a very small town and when your friends large pickup truck that sticks out like a sore thumb is parked in front of the movie theatre - its kind of obvious that you are not fishing. He saw my car, and he immediately looked the other direction.

After that night, I drove home and cried in my pillow for hours. I refused to speak to him and I dove head first into work and enjoying my summer. For the next 3 weeks he called me everyday, and by the 4th week he had given up on the phone calls. I got e-mails and he randomly showed up at my house to go do things with my brother. I avoided him at all costs, and must say - I was good at it. One night, I was driving home from work and I called his cell phone. He didn't answer, so I left him a voicemail to the effect of "I love you, and I hate it when we fight. We have been through so much, and I can't just walk away from you."

It wasn't 2 hours and he was at my house. We cried like babies and agreed to work on us. We needed to get back to the happy couple we once were, 4 years was too long to give up on. That only lasted 2 weeks. The week before summer was over, we broke up over the phone. I remember it went something along the lines of him telling me he didn't feel like he could make me happy anymore and he knew I wasn't happy. I said "Are you saying you think we should break up?" and he said "I guess". I hung up the phone and I didn't look back for 6 months. I avoided him and spent all my time with my friends.

My senior year of high school was miserable without him in my life. I was determined to change my life and learn to live without him, even though he was the only guy I was ever that close to. I turned down dates, and avoided hanging out with friends who had boyfriends. One night while I was at work, one of my co-workers who never met him before came inside the store (I worked at a grocery store), and said 'There is some kid in a Corvette in the parking lot looking for you'. I just laughed. I knew it was him, he drove a shiny red Corvette from the day he got his license, he was spoiled - obviously. I was an office person, so I had the freedom of walking outside. I went out there and he was just there to see me, even if I wouldn't talk to him. He didn't go into his usual spiel about how much he loved me, or missed me. He just talked like nothing was wrong and said he wanted to go to dinner one night. He had started a new job and seemed to be doing good. He was working 3rd shift, and he looked really tired. I agreed to go to dinner with him the following week. It wasn't the same. There was obvious tension, but he gave me a hug and a kiss and left.

That started a series of nights out and time spent together with no commitment. No title, or reason for me to expect him to call me and care about my feelings. It was almost like I gave him the freedom to see me and love me when he wanted to, and to avoid me and treat me like last weeks garbage when he wanted to. Eventually he realized he could pretty much walk all over me and I would take it.

For 2 years we went back and forth. When I graduated from high school I moved into my own apartment, and he stayed over a lot. He made an effort to see me at least once a week, and avoid me the other 6 days. I noticed a pattern, and part of that pattern was not spending any weekend days with me. I started to take notice that he would go out with the guys on the weekends, be out of contact and avoid me like the plague. I had a best friend who got married the year after I graduated. She knew about love and life, she told me I deserved better, and I was wasting my time with someone who didn't seem to have any ambition. After hearing it from her, then my Mom, and finally my brother - who was also friends with him - I decided it was over. I told him I was done, I didn't want him in my life, and I needed to move on without him.

I took down all the pictures of us, I packed up all his stuff and took it to his parents house and dropped it off. I spent lots of sleepless nights crying and feeling sorry for myself. One night, I decided I was done. It was when my brother met his now wife. I started making trips up North to visit family, and spending weekends at home with the girls. I poured my time into working full time, going to school part time, and living life with little sleep the rest of the time.

A guy who was a great friend for all the years I dated EBF returned to the picture. He started coming over for party nights at my apartment, and asking me to go do things with him. What started out as innocent friends hanging out, turned into a full blown crush. Before I knew it, I was head over heels for D. We spent evenings together, cooking dinner at my place and going out on the weekends. One night when he was at my house, EBF was texting me. Since D never admitted he had any feelings for me, I assumed we were just friends. I didn't see any harm in texting EBF back or allowing him to stop by for a quick visit. It had almost been a year since we went our separate ways, there was no harm. When I told D that EBF was going to drop by later, he flipped. He got up and walked out of my house, mumbling something about me being stupid and deserving EBF. I think that was the first time I realized that D liked me. I called EBF and told him not to come, I had plans and it wasn't a good time. Then I went to bed.

The next day D called me and acted like nothing was wrong. It sent me for a loop and confused me tremendously. Maybe he didn't really like me. Long story short, D and I started dating 2 weeks later and I had to tell EBF that I just could not communicate with him and maintain a happy relationship. I was happy with D and I needed to walk away from the past. EBF respected my wishes and quit calling and texting me. D and I dated for 3 months, until it was evident we were better friends. It was a mutual break up, and I discounted it to him being the "rebound guy".

One week after D and I broke up, EBF got word through the grapevine and reappeared on Valentines Day. Then, he disappeared for a year. I heard he had a girlfriend, who was much younger than he. I heard he was a deadbeat and not working again. His car broke and he didn't fix it, he was driving cars borrowed from his parents and still living at home. I was relieved he was out of my life.

Then, one weekend last summer - he reappeared again on a boating trip with my family. My brother didn't tell me because he didn't want me to skip because of EBF. He just hoped that I wouldn't mind. How could I? We were 20 miles from home, and on a boat in the middle of the lake. EBF was standing on the dock and hoped on the boat when my brother pulled up. I was OK, but I was scared. It was purely friendly that day, then that evening - he started texting me again.

I haven't talked to him since that day last summer. Once in a while he texts me, and that's all. Back in March he invited me to go to an event with him. I'm stupid and I went. It's back to what it was, him calling and texting. Us talking and hanging out. He's no different. He works full time now, but he doesn't really have any ambition. He has a vehicle, but it's nothing compared to what he had and gave up. He's not the same guy I loved for all those years and a huge part of me wants to tell him that and walk away - and another part of me thinks he might grow up one day and still be my night and shining armour.

Weight off my shoulders? No. Do I feel better about telling the blogging word this story? Yes! I feel like I have vented to a good friend who just listened and didn't give any advice, which is sometimes what I need. Just to talk.

-BB